Thursday, December 29, 2005

I WILL LIVE

I have been moping over the "affair that was" for sometime. However, as time went by, my sadness was filled with silent outrage at some realizations I've had. Being outside the relationship gave me a perspective on why and how it collapsed. No matter how independent I am, it took tremendous effort and support from my friends to pull me through. What made it more difficult was knowing that I was quickly replaced. More like after the death of Princess Diana, wherein Camilla Parker Bowles then took over. (Sigh). Anyway enough of that.

This morning I showered and dressed comfortably. I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror and saw a tired, sad and unhappy face. I really was the shadow of my former self. The bubbly, easygoing, and healthy-looking lad was nowhere in sight. Looking back at the year that was, I can understand the change in me. God must love me so much He gave me the toughest of challenges:

1. I lost my beloved team.
2. I was forced to work 60 hrs a week
3. I had and lost 3 boyfriends.
4. I was swindled Php 2,000 ( for me that's big money that time)
5. My friend Elda left for Korea.
6. A crazed drug addict almost broke into my apartment and stabbed me to death.
7. Problems within the family worsened and spiraled out of control, with two of my sisters battlling each other in court.

Shaking myself out of reverie, I stared back at myself. I was thinner alright, BUT I've weathered all the storms. Despite the endless catfights, LQs, illnesses, and disapointments, I am still here. I AM STILL ALIVE.

With this newfound resilience, I told my reflection in the mirror, "KAYA MO YAN, LUMABAN KA SA MGA PROBLEMA. THEY HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF YOU YET".

From this day on, I WILL LIVE.

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