ME IN THE MOVIES

Generally-speaking I love movies, especially those affecting ones (please take note that an "affecting movie" for me is something that would make me think about alternate endings and replacing the lead character with myself haha). Last Thursday, before my hubby left to flirt with camels in sub-Saharan Africa (I'm talking about Tunisia baby) we watched Flightplan, a Jodie Foster film. The film affected me so much that I always envision myself the target of conspiracy in every way possible (how demented is that?). Maybe I should reconsider consulting a shrink. (Yawn) Read on.

1. The Mummy. I'll slip a cursed Egyptian artifact into my "beloved" officemate Ashley's bag. Naturally the curse will wreak havoc on her and everybody else. hahahaha (evil grin)
2. Catwoman. I'll learn about my boss' secret dealings and the truth behind our phonecards' lost minutes and disconnected lines. Naturally , I will be killed but will be revived as a leather clad person, playing hopscotch on a skyscraper (robinson's summit anyone?)
3. Harry Potter. With a hot guy like Malfoy, who needs enemies? If you can't beat 'em fuck 'em. ahahaha
4. The Matrix. OMG! A lot of Agent Smiths! Can I see them all naked? hehehe
5. The Skeleton Key - Our neighbor's dog who always barks at me whenever I pass by turned out to be my bad-ass neighbor and the good-natured person who is supposed to be my neighbor is the dog. Some black magic required (swishing arms and smoke would help create that effect I guess).
6. The Hand That Rocks The Cradle. Our lazy maid turns out to be the owner of a dog I killed when I was very young and was out on a vendetta. Acts of revenge includes not washing my clothes right away, eating most of our food and monopolizing the TV watching Kampanerang Kuba.
7. Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Me and my baby turned out to be spies of opposing factions. Instead of fighting we bicker constantly. The sex is always great, though.

Ashley: Hey ...

KIDDO: (Feigns happiness) Hey...

We'll be back after a few messages....