LAMENTATIONS OF AN INCONVENIENT EX-BOYFRIEND

1. I've given up the possibility of a reconciliation. His ego is as big as a house.
2. I regretted I ever presented the possibility of a breakup.
3. I still fantasize about him whenever I have sex with other guys.
4. I plan to return all the gifts he gave me, as soon as I have bought worthy replacements.
5. I suddenly realized that a person does not just get "crabs" by himself, he gets it from someone else. I was so besotted with him that I believed his story that he never slept with anybody else and he doesn't know how on earth he got those icky things crawling on his pubes.
6. I know what you're thinking, I am clean, I don't have crabs and I didn't have crabs before I met him. He gave me crabs. Imagine the discomfort I had shaving my pubes and saying helo to my bald phallus.
7. I still can't believe I bought his story that his phone has an auto delete feature for sent messages. I checked with friends with the same phone model and they gave me "that" look.
8. I know he has created a profile at guys4men.com and has a faceless body in briefs as his main profile picture. His profile name is "Thunder".
9. I slept with another guy a few days before I broke up with him. I just thought, "What the hell, it's useless to stay in a relationship heading nowhere".
10. The word "serious" has a different meaning for him.
11. I hid the truth of my suffering from my friends. I felt sorry for myself.
12. His friends verbally maligned me and he never said any word in my defense.
13. He's a quitter.
14. He admitted his mistakes but he never made adjustments within himself to correct them.
15. He's right, absolutely right. He wasn't man enough for me.
16. This is the last time I'll ever write and talk about him.