ATTACK OF THE 5'8" SLUT

Thursday, SHANGRI-LA

After a grueling day at work, I decided to go to Shangri-La and eat my favorite Nacho Fast chili con carne. I am like a specialized animal wherein I only eat out at certain food joints that I’ve tried and enjoyed before. I was walking towards Nacho Fast when I began to have several confrontations with my slutty past (shit this computer insists that I should use smutty, well hello I’m not freakin’ Jenna Jameson). So let’s get it on with my smutty, err slutty confrontations:

Joey AKA Tisoy – A cute, not-so-tall mestizo with an insatiable appetite for sex. Nuff said. We knew and recognized each other but preferred not to even nod. We went separate ways.

The guy who came so quickly – I can’t remember his name but I do remember him cumming so quickly. Faster that Beyonce can belt out those melismas of hers in Déjà vu (by the way I love that wild woman dancing of hers, maybe I should try it sometime at Pritil Market hehe).

The almost guy – We almost did it, but didn’t. I just gave him a peek of my treasures. He jerked off naturally.

I tried to shrug it off as mere coincidence, but at the back of my mind there’s this nagging feeling that there’s more to come, like an inner voice telling me that I am a slut who’s a screaming advertisement for sex. I beg to differ. I am not advertising myself for sex (my close friends will strangle me for this quote).

My legs brought me to the food court, where food was ghastly, but the people were worse. Anyway, the only bright spot was the pad thai that I ate. Definitely delicious eating I assure you. As I was innocently (?) swallowing the bits and pieces of pad thai, a queer couple or close to that sat on the table adjacent to mine and were openly flirting they almost fucked on the table they were eating on if the norms of society and civility permitted it. The guy, obviously the bottom glanced sideways and saw me and signaled something to the other guy. The guy stood up and simply made a move to drop his hankie directly beside my feet. They pretended not to see it but I know they’re waiting for me to pick it up and hand it to them. I know what they want. And I know I don’t want what they want. So I just stood up and left the hankie lying there untouched.

As I entered the restroom, I looked at my face and I hated to acknowledge that I am someone screaming for sex. I want love. I want to love. I want a boyfriend. I want walks in the rain, flirtations under the sun, a carefully planned picnic in the park. I want someone to own me so no one would lust after me repeatedly. But I guess that someone for me is still far out in the horizon.

Till then, they have to watch out for the attack of the 5’8’ slut.

Note: I saw more guys that I just recognized by the face,. I just can’t remember clearly the scenarios when we met. Please don’t judge me, you’re slutty, too.

ATTACK OF THE 5'8" SLUT

Thursday, SHANGRI-LA

After a grueling day at work, I decided to go to Shangri-La and eat my favorite Nacho Fast chili con carne. I am like a specialized animal wherein I only eat out at certain food joints that I’ve tried and enjoyed before. I was walking towards Nacho Fast when I began to have several confrontations with my slutty past (shit this computer insists that I should use smutty, well hello I’m not freakin’ Jenna Jameson). So let’s get it on with my smutty, err slutty confrontations:

Joey AKA Tisoy – A cute, not-so-tall mestizo with an insatiable appetite for sex. Nuff said. We knew and recognized each other but preferred not to even nod. We went separate ways.

The guy who came so quickly – I can’t remember his name but I do remember him cumming so quickly. Faster that Beyonce can belt out those melismas of hers in Déjà vu (by the way I love that wild woman dancing of hers, maybe I should try it sometime at Pritil Market hehe).

The almost guy – We almost did it, but didn’t. I just gave him a peek of my treasures. He jerked off naturally.

I tried to shrug it off as mere coincidence, but at the back of my mind there’s this nagging feeling that there’s more to come, like an inner voice telling me that I am a slut who’s a screaming advertisement for sex. I beg to differ. I am not advertising myself for sex (my close friends will strangle me for this quote).

My legs brought me to the food court, where food was ghastly, but the people were worse. Anyway, the only bright spot was the pad thai that I ate. Definitely delicious eating I assure you. As I was innocently (?) swallowing the bits and pieces of pad thai, a queer couple or close to that sat on the table adjacent to mine and were openly flirting they almost fucked on the table they were eating on if the norms of society and civility permitted it. The guy, obviously the bottom glanced sideways and saw me and signaled something to the other guy. The guy stood up and simply made a move to drop his hankie directly beside my feet. They pretended not to see it but I know they’re waiting for me to pick it up and hand it to them. I know what they want. And I know I don’t want what they want. So I just stood up and left the hankie lying there untouched.

As I entered the restroom, I looked at my face and I hated to acknowledge that I am someone screaming for sex. I want love. I want to love. I want a boyfriend. I want walks in the rain, flirtations under the sun, a carefully planned picnic in the park. I want someone to own me so no one would lust after me repeatedly. But I guess that someone for me is still far out in the horizon.

Till then, they have to watch out for the attack of the 5’8’ slut.

Note: I saw more guys that I just recognized by the face. I just can’t remember clearly the scenarios when we met. Please don’t judge me, you’re slutty, too.

FEELIN' SO HOT TAMALE

After 28 years of life, I have this to say:


I am KIDDO

I enjoy life and live by my rules

This is my life

No stress, no fights

I'm leaving it all behind

I've had enough of the guys in my life

Cause I ain't got nobody that I can depend on

Just me, myself and I

I learned to never ever let anybody make you feel you do not deserve what you want.

A LAMB LED TO SLAUGHTER?

I met this guy named Ryan at the guys4men website and I've been exchanging messages with him for a couple of weeks running. Last last Saturday night, we decided to meet. Since I left my phone, I used my friend, Khalel's phone and texted him, inquiring about the place where we should meet.He was there at that place, however, I had the jitters and decided not to walk up to his table. His friends were there, hovering around him like butterflies. I simply have to meet him alone. it was simply impossible, so I just left with my friends. He's cute, but somehow older than me.I have no qualms, I like him.

Somehow, I had doubts when my friend Khalel told me that Ryan has been texting me, even though he already knows that I am not the one who owns that number. My friend Jed told me, "Honey, forget him. He's on a fishing expedition." Somehow, I felt my interest for him wane. Add that to the fact that he wasn't replying to my text messages although when we meet online, he acknowledges the receipt of the text messages, it's just that he has Globe unlimited.

Yesterday, I was just talking to Jed about Mariah (you all know I'm a certified Mariah fan, therefore called a lamb), then he (ryan) called and apologized, explaining that his text messages to my friend meant nothing and he wants me to come to his place.We talked lengthily, he's a fucking great glib talker and funny too. I never had to fake my sexy giggles. He was really bent on making me come, however, I am still cautious. If I go to his place, it means that sex is very very possible.I've had a firm resolve that I wouldn't sleep with anyone on the first meeting (I reserve the right to change my mind 30 seconds after I see my first crow's feet). It was tempting, very tempting indeed, but somehow I felt like a lamb being led to slaughter.

Should I take a chance with this guy and come to his place? Your comments would help me make the decision. This lamb needs your opinion.

FLY LIKE A BIRD

Thank you God!


1. Thank you for my newfound strength.

2. Thank you for making my ditse's HIV test negative.

3. Thank you for giving me a second chance to prove myself at the office.

4. Thank you for giving me such a wonderful family.

5. Thank you for making me look and feel young.

6. Thank you for saving my ate's brother's life.

7. Thank you for giving my sister the closure she needed between her and her husband.

8. Thank you for my friends.

9. Thank you for my ex-boyfriends.

10. Thank you for my suitors.


I lift up everything to you, because with you, I feel I could fly like a bird and soar above every adversity.


FLY LIKE A BIRD
Mariah Carey



Verse 1
Somehow I know that
There’s a place up above
With no more hurt and struggling
Free of all atrocities and suffering
Because I feel the unconditional love
From one who cares enough for me
To erase all my burdens
And let me be free to

Chorus
Fly like a bird
Take to the sky
I need You now Lord
Carry me high
Don’t let the world break me tonight
I need the strength of You by my side
Sometimes this life can be so cold
I pray You’ll come and carry me home
Verse 2
Can we recover
Will the world ever be
A place of peace and harmony
With no war and with no brutality
If we loved each other
We would find victory
But in this harsh reality
Sometimes I’m so despondent
That I feel the need to

Chorus 2
Fly like a bird
Take to the sky
I need You now Lord
Carry me high
Don’t let the world break me tonight
I need the strength of You by my side
Sometimes this life can be so cold
I pray You’ll come and carry me home

Bridge
Keep your head to the sky
With God’s love you’ll survive

Outro
Fly like a bird
Take to the sky
I need You now Lord
Carry me high
Don’t let the world break me tonight
I need the strength of You by my side
Sometimes this life can be so cold
I pray You’ll come and carry me home
Carry me higher, higher, higher
Carry me higher, higher, higher
Carry me home
Higher Jesus
Carry me higher Lord

Letter to a Friend

Dear friend,


Kumusta ka na? By the way I abandoned the "peacock and prairie chicken" question. But I do have a new one. Hahaha. Do reply. I consider u as a friend. And I mean a friend. I just realized that I have very few friends, and it's about time I made new ones. So is it okay for you? Don't worry I won't pressure you, or even beg you to meet me. Just talk to me, let me blabber about how we are all God's actors in his B-movie called "Life" and how we go on about it every single fucking day.

By the way, u inspired me in a way in saying that you don't need a relationship to complete yourself. I guess I should try having that as my life's creed. Hell, life sucks but we don't have to suck too, right? I wish I could tell you more, but I am still not sure if I would meet the standards to be your friend. However, here I am again, not ever learning that being ignored online is just like being shoved. By the way, I had a really tough time, meeting the bitches of G4m last Friday night. A very different crowd I might say. Very very different. Some are nice though. Most are indifferent. Is it because I'm not a screaming fag, or is it because I always dress in dreary blacks and browns? Anyhow, I'm not meeting the G4m bunch ever again, except for some friends.

I've always moved between two worlds but always get shunned by both. One world is of muscular, straight acting men. Gawd I hate gym, and I dont wanna punish myself lifting steel and wondering my hernia is hahaha. I am discriminated for having a body that is not buffed. The other is a world of effem's, fairies, and fashion conscious fabulous gays who call themselves "girls". They always looked at me with arched eybrows. Maybe Im not too vain, and I dont dress too fab. Or maybe I cant see the wisdom of having to slather everything onto your body to make it smooth and supple.

Sometimes, I wonder where I am right now. I am employed but with measly savings. I am single. My mom always worries about my bad behavior all the time. My siblings are always wondering at my whereabouts, as to what shit I am embroiled in again and how much cash do they have to spend in order to bail me out of the scrape I got into. I guess my dad's spinning in his grave right now, due to my craziness.Sometimes I think I'm leading a mediocre life. I don't know. For now I must hold my own against this feeling of nonchalance, that is preventing me from taking a step forward.

Will u help me, my friend?


P.S.This letter will also be published in my blog:aquagreenundies.blogspot.com