ELDERLY GAYS REALLY ARE DRAMA QUEENS

Last night I got one of the most valuable lessons in love, dating and relationships. Elderly gays really are drama queens.

Francisco, a 48 year-old Spanish-FIlipino and I went to a date yesterday. I was supposed to cancel because it was raining rather heavily but he offered to pick me up at a nearby McDonalds so I relented. We had dinner at Italianni's. I protested because I was inadequately dressed, but once again, he reasoned out that since I'm with him I need not worry.

True enough, there was nothing to worry. He offered a full-course dinner, but due to WEIGHT ISSUES, I opted for a nice and refreshing mediterranean chicken salad (it is laced with these flavorful bits called capers). As the dinner progressed we knew each other better. He was nice, very nice indeed. In his car he asked where I wanna go, and I replied with a very eloquent "anywhere" (define eloquent hahaha).
We went to this private place with four walls and the airconditioning is cold enough to make antarctic penguins feel right at home. I know where it's heading to, and I don't care. I want to assert that I am my own woman (ok ok technically a man) and I know what I want. As we kissed deeply, he fumbled with the fastenings of my pants. At last when my raging willy popped out, my phone rang. I saw an unfamiliar number. I took the call.

The caller's name is Bryan and is asking how am I doing. Honestly, I remember him vaguely (without his pants on). He is the one-minute man. Hold his dick and he will come in a minute hahaha.What I didn't realize is that Francisco is already freaking out. All of a sudden he lost interest and told me that we should get going.
In his car he said that he wouldn't want to get involved with me unless I sort out my priorities and not treat him like a spare tire.

I argued that he isn't a spare tire (more of a vintage car given his age hahahaha), Anyhow it was pointless.
Obviously it was a date that ended in disaster. He still drove me home. So much for hoping so much for something that is really not meant for me.

I was lying in bed wondering what I did wrong, and then i remembered that I forgot my fifty-peso umbrella in his car.

Oh darn. I'll just get a new umbrella and I'LL GET A NEW GUY.

(Hint about his identity: Cong. Miguel Zubiri is his nephew and he speaks flawless Castilian Spanish)

MINE AGAIN

Yahoooo! Nagreply na si Mark and ok raw na magdate uli kami. Eto yung reply niya sa message ko:

Me: NOTE: I may not be the best looking guy you have met or will meet. I may not be the brightest person you may have shared ideas with. I may not be the most sexually gifted person you've been with. All I know is that I am here with all my heart, believing that what's simple is true. The simple truth is, I LOVE YOU.

MARK: NOTE: u know mah sun no ryt?? so juz txt me wen and wer kung ala me sked tutulog me sa bahay nyo hehehehe........

Tingin ko this is it. Todo na 'to. This time he'll be mine.. again ahahahahahaha (teka tawang kontrabida yata yun ah?).

WHAT'S SIMPLE IS TRUE

In-love talaga ako dito kay MARK.

Nagpost siya sa downelink.com ng bulletin asking for a date. Syempre reply agad ang lola mo. Twice na kaming nag-date and he's a gentleman and very cute. Nakakainlove talaga. Eto ang desperate plea ng inyong lingkod. Syempre inlove eh:

I may not be the best looking guy you have met or will meet. I may not be the brightest person you may have shared ideas with. I may not be the most sexually gifted person you've been with. All I know is that I am here with all my heart, believing that what's simple is true. The simple truth is, I LOVE YOU.

Kung may makabasa nito na may lihim na pagnanasa rin kay MARK, humanda ka. Patayan na ito. Ala-eh hindi mo kaya ire. Hindi umuurong ang dalagang Batangueña. Patay kung patay. Parang Black Mamba vs California Mountain Snake ito. Hehehe.

Hay pero ang totoo I'm just wishing and hoping na may pag-asa pa ang damdamin ko par a sa kanya. Kahit magnobena pa ako sa Baclaran. Hehe

BAKIT MASARAP ANG LAHING LEGHORN?

Nakakatuwa naman ang aking cyber life( may life pala dun???). Dami nagpo-propose. May puti, may itim, may intsik, may local. Haaayyy... pwede bang lahat na lang sila? Pero alam naman nating hindi pwede. Kailangang mamili hija.

Hanggang ngayon puzzled pa rin ako kung bakit attracted sa akin madalas yung white, foreign older guys 30+ and they wanna treat me like their own boy toy. Hindi na ako boy beinte sais na ako and hindi ako toy (tao ako, ate!). Nevertheless, I love the attention bwahahahaha.

Isa-isahin natin ang advantages and disadvantages of dating foreign guys, according to your truly, your very own international slut:

ADVANTAGES

1. usually, matangkad sa akin

2. open for experimentation

3. generous (except for Germans)

4. cuddle to the 4th power (walang inhibitions if they like the guy)

5. ok lang for long distance SERIOUS relationship (pag magkalayo, email lang masaya na)
6. may plans for the future ng relatiuonship niyo (at hindi for his own future lang)

7. mas madalas tumutupad sa pangako kaysa sa pinoy

8. May malaking phallus (titi yun gago!)

7. Special treatment sa mga resto (damay pati ako)


DISADVANTAGES

1. May ibang partner sa country nila.

2. Minsan, questionable ang hygiene (siguro bilihan mo na lang ng tawas piso lang isang sachet)

3. Language barrier lalo na pag hindi marunong mag-english. Puro hand signs. (teka teka paano mo isa-sign language yung "I love you, where's my FIANCE VISA?" hehe)

4. Laging busy sa trabaho (usually high-ranking officer siya ng isang multinational company or expat na gusto lang magliwaliw at gustong mabiktima ng Abu Sayyaf)

5. Hindi kumakain ng kanin. May naka-date akong ganyan na British ang inorder niya for me TUNA MEDALLIONS. Akala ko ulam, yun pala nakalagay sa plato 4 piraso ng tuna na singliit ng bilog na medal bawat isa at may konting garnish na mint sprigs at sauce. I swear, pagkauwi ko kumain ako dun sa lugawan malapit sa amin.

6. Kahit special treatment sa mga resto, alam mo na pinag-uusapan ka ng crew. Iniisip nila callboy ka or gahaman sa pera, which is not true. Hindi po ako gahaman sa pera, mukha po akong pera (is there a difference?)

7. Usually out sa family. Hindi ko na kailangang magtago sa ilalim ng kama or magkunwaring computer technician para makapasok sa kwarto niya hehehe.

Siguro may mga bagay pa akong nakaligtaan dito pero to sum it up, it doesn't matter kung ano ang lahi. Ang mahalaga, mahal ninyo ang isa't-isa at nagkakaunawaan kayo.


That's all thank you so much. World peace! (sabay wave)

CAN'T TAKE THAT AWAY

Hay nakakabato naman dito. Iba talaga ang 1 - 9 PM shift. Kokonti na nga kayo wala pang ginagawa. Tapos mamayang malapit nang umuwi saka dadagsa ang mga calls. Dusa talaga!!!

Anyway, eto write na lang ako ng blog. Sencia na medyo delayed ang pag-update ko dito. Ikaw ba naman ang magtrabaho ng 10 hrs a day 6 days a week, siguradong itutulog mo na lang ang rest day mo. Ever since ma-demote sa trabaho eto pwede raw mabawasan at maging 5 days kaya lang babawasan ang sweldo ko. Naaaahh!! Hindi pwede. Tama na ang drama. Masakit ang ma-demote pero mas masakit ang mabawasan ang sweldo.

Haaaaay teary-eyed na naman ako. Sa akin kasi mawala na ang lovelife at gimik, wag lang ang career. Feeling ko nga I'm an exiled queen without a castle of her own. Pero naisip ko, tama na ang kakaisip. Nakakapagod sa braincells, wala naman mangyayari. Bibigat lang ang dibdib mo. Ang mahalaga, may trabaho pa ako. Hanggang kaya, kahit gumagapang kakayanin, di ba? Siguro guiding principle ko na lang yung words sa kanta ni Mariah na "Can't Take That Away" sa mga nangyayari sa akin sa job ko:

They can say anything they want to say
Trying to bring me down, BUT I WON'T FACE THE GROUND
I will rise steadily out of reach
hmmmm.... (sorry nakalimutan, tao lang)
Although they do try hard to make me feel
That I don't matter at all
But I refuse to fall
(hmmmmm...)
There's a light in me that shines brightly
They can try but they can't take that away from me.....

I know they're tough but I'm made of stronger stuff.

Feeling ko for the first time may sense ang blog ko. What do you think?